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 Zimbabwean men are notorious for their inability to express their affections vocally. Those three words: “I love you,” when they do come out are often mumbled quickly or said without the affection that renders them meaningful. Too many Zimbo dudes believe that if they grope you all over, or if they buy you things, these are sufficient signs of affection so they don’t need to say it. Wrong! Here are few pointers to help you remove any doubt from her mind that you love her to bits.
1. Listen
When your woman talks, listen to her. If she’s sharing about the problems she’s having at work she’s not asking you to solve them, she just wants you to know. So don’t be afraid, just listen. Don’t fiddle with the remote, or keep glancing at the TV. If she is saying something important, switch off the damn set and pay attention. Give her the look that says mudiwa, you have my full attention. The rewards will be amazing. 2. Help
If your woman says she’s tired, but is running around the house, ironing, cleaning, cooking, she’s actually saying it would be great if you could assist. Many Zimbabwean women take pleasure in being able to run a household well- but they are not machines- and you are not married to the TV. Get off your butt and help her. She knows how much you enjoy watching Arsenal get kicked by Chelsea so this will send a very clear message to her that you see her as more than just as a house girl with your ring on her finger. Result? She feels affirmed. Major payback for you. You feel affirmed. 3. Romance
Women love to be romanced and wooed. Just because you’ve finally got her doesn’t change that. Take time to think of something special you can do for her every so often. Organise dates with her as often ad possible. Remember a date can be coffee and biscuits in your garden on a Saturday morning, or a walk in the neighbourhood- it doesn’t have to be expensive. These are great opportunities for the two of you to touch base, to reconnect. Write her love letters. Not a forwarded chain email. Sit down with a pen and write something from your heart- the way you used to when you first met. Send her SMSes during the day to simply say “I’m thinking of you” or “I love you.” 4. Touch
Groping your woman like you do a mango to check if it’s ripe does not convey the message that you love her. It simply says that you’re a selfish and lustful bugger. Touch is about taking her hand when you’re out together. It’s about placing a kiss on her cheek- not because you want it to lead to a bedroom scene- but just. It’s about finding out the places on her body that she likes to be touched- not always the ones that you like to touch. It’s about learning simple massage techniques and when she’s tired, giving her feet or her shoulders a good muscle rub. It’s about hugging and caressing- often. 5. Say it
“But I said it last week,” just does not cut it. Women like to hear it- today. So say it. If you’re shy of saying it in public, your home is a good place to do it. In the morning, when you wake up. Stop, hold her and look her in the eyes, then say it. “I love you.” You could also add her name in there for more intensity. “Chipo, I love you.” Make sure it never becomes something you just say. Each time you say it, look her in the eye and make sure she knows you mean it.
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