Tendayi Westerhof last made headlines when she published her first book, Unlucky in Love, in 2005. In the book she tells the story of a woman who goes through an abusive relationship and is infected with HIV by her husband. The book raised the ire of her ex-husband, former Zimbabwe soccer coach Clemence Westerhof, who accused her of pouring out their secrets in public. Ms Westerhof is back in the public eye after telling the world recently that she was living “in abject poverty” and felt abandoned by a community to which she had given so much.

Slow and Painful Death

In an interview with Sarah Tikiwa of the Sunday Mail, Ms Westerhof recently revealed how she is living from “hand to mouth.”

“I am experiencing a slow and painful death for I have seen many in my situation go this way while the nation watches,” she said.

Tendayi was 35 when she told the nation that she was HIV positive. That was 8 years ago. She said she did it hoping to help others in her situation who were afraid of knowing their status. She also hoped to let women know about the dangers of contracting HIV.

^ Tendayi Westerhof pictured with Power FM DJ and AIDS activist Leander Kandiero at the Auxilia Chimusoro Awards last year.

She seemed bitter that there was no one forthcoming to help her and complained that all the work that she has done for Zimbabwe, which has made her famous, had also made her “poorer and poorer.” “I am struggling to cope with life,” she revealed and went on to say that although she was still on Anti-Retroviral (ARV) medication she could not afford the diet to go with it.

“My heart bleeds when I look at myself now. The people whom I thought would be concerned with our well-being [HIV positive people] are not so concerned about how we live, what we eat or how we take care of our families.”

She said that she had applied for work at so many places but found she had been branded “unemployable” because of her HIV status. “I cannot get a decent job due to the stigma attached to me,” she said.

Tendayi also confessed to having let her youngest child, a girl in grade one, go and live with her father as she could not afford to take care of her. Her four children have three fathers.

In 2004 Tendayi broke ground when she started the Public Personalities Against AIDS Trust (PPAT) which championed the public voluntary testing of Members of Parliament. The historic event, which saw a handful of MPs participating was a forerunner to the widespread acceptance of voluntary counseling and testing (VCT).  The trust has been unfunded since 2005.

Unlucky in Love

In the book Unlucky in Love, Tendayi describes a life of torment under her ex-husband, former Zimbabwe National Team Football coach, Clemence. Although her characters have fictional names the story she tells is biographical. She claims her ex-husband slept with her secretary, constantly abused her physically and ultimately infected her with HIV.

^ A pensive Tendayi Westerhof

In 2005, Clemence Westerhof’s new wife, Lillian (nee Ndlovu) accused Tendayi of being a “gold digger” and of dragging Westerhof’s reputation through dirt with slanderous comments in media interviews and her book.

“She never loved him,” Lillian wrote in the first of five e-mails she sent to itsbho.com. “All she wanted was money and publicity. She planned the whole marriage as a retirement plan, and then got Clemens deported to South Africa by claiming he was beating her. People know the truth that she is a bad liar.”

“The truth will come soon, she thinks she has won,” railed Lillian in another of her e-mails. “Tendayi has become desperate for donor money because Clemens is gone with his money and she has nothing left but a big mouth.”

Second Book

In 2007 Tendayi launched a second book, entitled Dear Cousin- a true story written in the form of a letter to her cousin who had just tested positive to HIV. The book, published in Nigeria, chronicles her contribution to responses to HIV and AIDS in Zimbabwe and beyond.

Right: Clemence Westerhof
(Photo: Sun News Publishing)

At the launch of the book Tendayi told invited guests: "My inspiration to write is to show other women who are in the same predicament as me that it is possible to live and excel, that life goes on and you can still do things and be somebody.”

"I have refused to be stigmatised because of my HIV positive status and I don’t have a dependency syndrome hence I have taken bold decisions to urge people to do the same," she said.

Truly inspirational words. I am hoping earnestly that she reads this article and is reminded to live again.

Story: Sunday Mail, NewZimbabwe, Itsbho.com, ZimGreats, Online Artist Promotions Archives and ZimboJam.

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Mary T   |2009-03-17 02:58:48 Nhai Tendayi, for one who is a symbol of positive livin this is not good. Be strong as you have told people over the years. Be strong for your childre. Be strong for those who look up to you. Be strong for every thing you have claimed to be in the past. Reply 4   0

Stlyes   |2009-03-17 06:16:15 Take heart! Reply 0   0

VeeX   |2009-03-17 06:31:41 Tendayi, there are hundreds of thousands of Zimbabweans who have HIV and have no access to ARVs. Count yourself lucky that you have access to this life giving medication. And pray for your children. That they too may have strength to face life. Reply 7   1

Jobho   |2009-03-17 08:14:56 Tight. Reply 0   0

simon  - women   |2009-03-17 21:36:37 Sad story.I'm sure women will learn who to go out with.Be brave Tendai. Reply 1   3

Innocent Ncube  - Tendyai   |2009-03-19 19:27:29 Guys if Tendayi has three children from three different fathers whi infected who here. When one is positive it is not about accusing the other partner. It is about living positively. Tendayi has no funding etc for her NGO cause she has lied about a lot of things. Just say I was positive and am living positivey this thing of telling all sorts of stories make people not buy your books or fund you. This whole story is sad indeed three different fathers and you have the guts to blame some guy for your status Reply 4   0

tobhiyasi  - Zvakaoma   |2009-03-28 06:36:13 Some out there has the guts to tell the truth about having multiple parters.. This explains why Tendayi is un employable. She is definately trouble ... She has to work on getting funding for her projects, coz really they are commendable. Reply 0   0

Sharai Ncube  - Ms   |2009-03-20 02:33:55 Why does Tendai go around telling everyone her business ? Does she not have relatives and friends that she can tell, who would be more sympathetic and able to help her. Munhu anoita basa rekuzvifumura all over the show. Reply 1   0

musvi  - U have a problem   |2009-03-20 03:21:14 I think you have a personal problem with Tendai be open not to go around saying such annoying comments. you should have a heart for others. Reply 0   0

Sharai Ncube  - Ms   |2009-03-20 05:12:28 I do not have a personal problem with Tendai Westerhof but feel that she should get a proper job to look after herself and her kids. She is not the first HIV positive person in Zimbabwe or the world. There are people who have had less opportunities than her, who have worked hard and made something of their lives, in these difficult times. If you think her stragegy is great, why dont you also write your life story and challenges using your real name for the whole world to hear and comment Reply 2   0

Mai Anotidaishe  - dearest   |2009-03-20 02:37:07 Shame, this is so sad. May you find strength in the Lord. I know you to be a fighter Tendai. You are strong. Reply 0   0

Truth  - tight   |2009-03-20 03:10:57 tendayi haa maone.usataurise chete,thats my advise Reply 0   0

Anonymous   |2009-03-20 02:51:39 i wonder why she is still using Westerhof's surname only and forgetting about the other names. Reply 4   1

Barb   |2009-03-20 02:58:28 She said it was her perrogative to use the name Westerhof. She once told Clemence that he could change his name if he wanted. Reply 0   2

angie   |2009-05-12 08:43:36 Tendai you are a strong courageous woman. i DONT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE FEEL YOU HAVE TO DEFEND YOURSELF EVERYTIME. HAVING CHILDREN WITH DIFFERENT PARTNERS DOES NOT MAKE ONE LOOSE AS SOME SEEM TO IMPLY. WHY ARE THERE NO COMMENTS ABOUT MEN WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS BUT IT RAISES EYEBROWS IF ITS A WOMAN. IF MEN WERE RESPONSIBLE THIS WOULD NOT BE THE CASE. ABOUT THE SURNAME ITS HER RIGHT IT SHOWS SHE HAS STAYING POWER. I SALUTE YOU FOR BEING A WOMAN OF STRENGTH FOR SAYING OUT LOUD WHAT A LOT OF WOMEN BOTTLE INSIDE. WOMEN LETS UNITE, THE BATTLE FOR TENDAI IS ON. Reply 0   0

Anny  - PRAY TENDAYI   |2009-03-20 04:49:57 Sad story,Tendayi,dai varegera kuramba uchishandisa surname yemurungu uyu. Maybe vakudhonzana nemweya yetsvina iri associated ne zita iri. Use your own surmane hazvina zvazvinoreva kuramba uchishandisa surname YEMUNHU ASINGADI KANA kukuona.You are very fortunate that at least you can write books what about poor illeterate women living positively down in the villages. BE PRAYERFUL pray that your own daughters will not have children with different men. Reply 0   0

Chipo  - Miss   |2009-03-20 06:07:40 Yes we feel for you tendai but the way you wash your dirty linen in public makes us wonder are you looking for sympathy for real or its a ploy to seek attention. Many people are in worse situations than yours. Also we wonder if you were doing all you said you did for people to support you. Lastly if you are for real ditch the surname why hold on to it as if its your lifeline. Reply 3   0

ASHBEL VUDZIJENA  - See beyond the present circumstances   |2009-03-25 04:33:07 Tendai, You have done a sterling job by writing books and establishing an NGO for the good of many people. It is unfortunate that the present worries, which are truly real, rooted in matters of subsistence and others are putting a veil on your ultimate dream of enriching other people's lives more than your own. It is important at this juncture for you to widen your view and realise that the present challenges of your organization and probably the reduced purchases recorded for your books are shared by most other people who are running NGOs and trusts as well as writing books. It has very little to do with discrimination and a deliberate lack of response to your work. Every business, including medical and funeral service industry, went through a rough patch in the past couple of years. You need to see beyond the present moment for you to revitalise yourself. The worries and experiences you have are shared by doctors, nurse... Reply 3   0

Ru   |2009-03-29 10:16:10 Hi Tendai It is truly unfortunate that these things are truly happening to u know and I can understand how u have gone thru so much to prove to urself and every other thing around u that u are more than an HIV infected victim. In life there are things like these that happen and when they do happen, especially the way they are happening to u now, as much as it is therapeutic for u to share witj all who care to listen, it is also much wiser to share all u want with those who truly care coz as u have seen, not everyone likes u so much to feel for u even if a few might. I feel u but at this time, I pray that u even find a counsellor or phsycologist who can walk with u, there are many things that u can still do as long as u have some breathe in u and do not be looking for sympathy where u have not found it. You are too beautiful, creative and U CAN do something about it. U CAN if u are reading this U CAN, u have done it before Reply 0   0

Dumakude  - you got what you wanted   |2009-05-21 06:02:28 sori shemu sisi, yibufeba bakho ke lobu obufake enkingeni,funda next ukuvala umlomo kanye nemizwa yakho. why cry now,expect everyone to be sorry.are you trying to raise funds for your self enriching NGO. ingculazi iningi ezweni even the whole world,what makes you so specially, ngokujola noClemence and claim he infected you, what about the other lot you didnt mention Reply 4   0

Patience Lunga  - Executive Director   |2009-09-16 05:11:58 Its really sad that people stoop so low and make horrible comments about another human being. Whether she has three children its neither here nor there and stop using racial slurs about the mlungu issue its down right disgusting whether you are a president, business men aids touches everyone, no one is perfect if Tendayi was a man no one will question her even is she has twenty children by twenty different fathers. Finally to say I am disgusted about this stigmatisation and hateful comments its an understatement. I wish you the best Tendayi and may God's love be with you and your children. Reply 3   7

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